Kamo's Korner - Special Aussie Title Edition
Well here’s the long awaited return of Kamo’s Korner and apologies to those who were waiting for write ups, I’ve been in the Middle East working on peace negotiations with Hamas. Now time to buckle up cause everyone is on the radar.
With the Australian title being held in Goulburn John ‘The Sheriff’ Fowler went back to highway patrol roots giving all the circus clowns an escort up north of the border, NSW were bringing a brand new ride and resident carnival ride operator Daniel Meredith not present, nobody new how to set up the Loop de Loop properly as it didn’t come with instructions, halfway through the carnival when the new driver Jay Hall got the new ride handling 1000 times better with a slightly chuffed Terry Bond and big Mal in his corner. Just wait and see what this can do in meetings to come.
The Wards in the bang bus were the first Victorians to arrive with a contingent of every Ward ever made. Jack had been told ‘no pressure but if you don’t win there will a famine in Benalla’ this ended up being the case when ‘it broke’ in the final. Shawn yet again yelling orders at Scars, Shrek, Squirt and his thug mates until Molly stepped in throwing her muscle around taking time away from her illegal gambling ring to take charge, still Shawn sneaking in the top 10 won’t put food on the table this week, so we will be running a tin can drive to get them through the next weeks.
Nobody told Terry ‘wrong turn’ Brown and Lauren (The best race day manager/ secretary/ crew chief) that entrances into speedways are generally paved and not up a fire track. Possibly Toby thought he saw a guy having a leak in the woods and jumped out to go watch. This not effecting Terrys race coming in a solid 4th. The worst bit is Mark ‘The pissant’ Sheills thought it would be a good idea to follow them up the dirt track trying to sabotage Kamo’s title before it even started.
Anthony Lea and Tyler Lea decided to rock up to the track about 5mins before hot laps. If Anthony would have only been a bit later the car might have lasted longer. Now with all the family hopes of retaining Aus 1 fell on the young fella, I recon Anthony dialled him out throughout the night to remain the #1 driver in the family.
After being stood up in one of the best stitch ups or straight out dogs act, Red Beard pulled the pin at the 11th hour on captain chaos Travis Florrimell. Lucky for Travis, Seth jumped in to keep him company and non stop talking filling him up verbal diarrhoea helped keep him awake. Not only should Red Beard be punished but Travis must be forced to pay for his sins. Who leaves it till 4:45 to renew their license the day before a title. Luckily the dragon made the decision to do the licence it for him. In the final supposedly someone leaned out and turned his fuel shut off valve and for this lie he was punished by taking the Sheriff home.
While on this, Chris Fowler who refuses to listen to gods instructions (Ross Stainer). Resident know all Chris tried his hardest to re invent the wheel having an ok night in a pretty pathetic 3rd. The Sheriff was furious on the drive home and thought he was back in the old highway patrol BT1 when the motor got the old death rattle coming into Gundagai. Lucky for him god wasn’t far away and took the trailer home for him. The sheriff by this point had enough of all of Chris’s excuses, cuffed him and threw him into gods confession box for the ride home. Now only the Sheriff had to get home so Travis had to be punished where he made a full statement on the way home.
Gavin Black got a bum steer and was told by dad Gary this was the compact title, this bloke will do anything to get good numbers at the track, every time you turn around the Blacks are multiplying faster than the Wards with Alan, Gary and co. Gavin had beef cause Gary wasn’t doing the grid draws and couldn’t get him off the front in each heat, he then was heard saying he was gonna save the car for the NSW title in a few weeks pulling it up early in the feature.
The tin man Adam Buckley has been too busy to do car maintenance selling rice to the Chinese, he forgot to bleed his brakes going cannonball like into an incident bending up his front end like his spine. He also has been hosting that many events he has plans to be the new compère on the return of sale of a century.
Johnny Rouse misheard that we were staying near the dog on the tucker box and thought we said bring your dog. This new hairy faced crew chief was found sniffing Mark Shiells dirty freckle.
Paul ‘the paddle pop lion’ Perry and his old pal farmer Dave thought it was funny to keep running high and roosting everyone with marbles all this fun came to an end when I gave him a bit of an extra hand going into the corner putting him to the back and ruining his weekend. Sorry Cathy. But the fun was still to come when the sausages came out.
After a failed attempt to launch my rocket last meeting Mark begged me to come back and I had a contract that I’d drive ‘ol trusty’ for Ray not Mark, but being the control freak he is he tried dialling me out early in the night but come good as the meeting went on all I had to do is get rid of Travis and Paul and then I was right sneaking home in 5th.
No Riley who’s now in love, Big Bad Bustling Gary Bowyer was trying to take full advantage of his new titanium knees barging his way to the front row of the final. Times have been a bit tough recently and Amanda has been collecting cans and bottles for recycling and the 10c rebate has been his tyre money. So if anyone can save their cans Amanda would very much appreciate it. If only they had collected a few more cans they could have put new rubber on for the final and the result may have been different.
The silver fox Wally Kermond who was running through the banner for his 300th Australian title was solid all night but really got into his element when the BBQs were pulled out, then like a moth to a light all the resident big time BBQ players showed up. Paul Perry, Farmer Dave, Mark Delohery and Wally all were about to come to fisty cuffs for who would hold the title for the golden tongs for another year.
Now we get to Pistol Pete Robotham, we know the guy can drive a fast car on the streets according to Julie, but how was he going to go on the big stage. His son Bear took control as crew chief telling him what he was doing wrong, all cause he had spent school holidays playing weeks of iracing. It took doofy to slap bear a few times telling him not to change too much at one time, this being the key for the setup. The car was on a rail all night and brought back to Victoria the Australia #1 putting it all down to his motivational song ‘tell Laura I love her’
After getting back to the pits, Mark tried to take all the glory, skylarking around broke the trophy. It’s been a few tough months for team pitstop mowers but this one was special with the win being dedicated do Ray.
NSW title in 2 weeks, I’m not sure who’s heading up but I know the Victorians will be focused on the next points round at Rushworth.
Did Glen Cunningham catch something off blisters?
Did the Wards steal all the leftover sausages?
Is Mark Delohery now drinking cold beer?
Were Daniel and Wendy not happy with the toe money on offer?
Till next time,